i've been gone for a while.

now i'm back. its been a while since i last wrote something. let's see... i've been joining silat... didnt really got to join the competition. the debate team... joined KAT as a recourcer, didnt get any certification though. sang at the MAKA for the best student. well, most teachers know me now, thats good. i'm really good with seniors now. i hang a lot wih them instead of with form 5 students. i fell in love. had a plan to confess, a very cool way. but, i was kinda too late and was kinda too slow, shy, stupid, miserable and a whole lot of reasons to not confess. idk, maybe its just that i'm not that perfect enough, happy enough, educated enough, strong enough, brave enough to fill her life with my comfort. i realize that everyday. i'm losing myself, my education, my family, and my happiness is falling apart. i dont think its time for me to feel romance in this age. but still, there's no other like her, and i might not see her again next year. i gavve up confessing. but i wont give up loving her. even if she doesnt want it, i'll show her that i care bout her. funny, basicly in this so called diary is just filled with my feelings towards a female.